Put a sock in it!

It was twenty-five BELOW zero outside for the third night in a row. Every time I got up to use the restroom in the middle of the night, I would assume the position and immediately feel like a cold breeze was going to freeze me to the seat.  By the third night I woke up enough to discover there was a hole in the wall next to the light switch.  A hole normally covered by the door.  I had never noticed it before. After all there are so many crazy things in our little community of owner built homes, like the neighbor who has squirrels living in the walls of their house. (Yes, they’re squirrels, not rats or mice. We know this because they’ve been live trapping them.) Compared to that, a little opening from an improperly cut electrical socket hole is no big deal. UNLESS, the hole is on an outside wall and the wind is blowing in the “right” direction when it’s minus twenty-five!

Still mostly asleep I knew something had to be done before I forgot about it again until the next midnight potty run. So…I put a sock in it. Before bed I had put an Under Armour sock with a hole in the toe in the trashcan by the sink. I name the brand Under Armour because it ticks me off that I bought six pair of white socks and all but three individual socks are already in the trash for poor quality. Useless in two months.

Useless, until I stuffed it in the hole in the wall.  It worked perfectly.  I guess I was using the socks incorrectly.  I thought they were made for your feet. Evidently Under Armour made them to patch holes in walls.

It’s been a month since the cold snap.  The sock is still dangling from the wall. Maybe, we’ll patch the hole in the spring. Maybe not. I like the pioneer homesteader mentality of using what you have to make repairs. Besides, the irony of a holey sock repairing a holey wall fits my style.

 

My Snot Just Froze!

 “Honey, what is that all over the side of your face?” George asked as we carried in wood from the outside woodpile.

“It’s snot.”

“Gross! That is seriously stuck all under your nose and down the side of your cheek.” George cringed. “Did you consider wiping your nose before that happened?”

I stuck my coat sleeve in his face. “I have been. But it’s so cold it freezes instantly.”

Yes, the whole thing is disgusting. But I have a cold and outdoor chores don’t wait for you to be healthy. Our temperatures haven’t risen above zero in five days, and as we carried in wood it was minus 25.

Unless we have a fever or serious flu neither of us let the outside work go undone.  In snow country that is a recipe for disaster.  The decks must be kept shoveled to keep the snow load from building up too much weight (and shoveling six inches of snow is much easier on my creaky shoulder and cranky knee than shoveling two feet). And while our house is designed to let snow slide off the roof, one side of the barn doesn’t slide so occasionally it too must be shoveled. We also must shovel snow off utility trailers to keep weight from flattening tires or collapsing roofs.

When temperatures are this extreme we keep both wood stoves burning. We also must run the furnace (which has a vent in the garage) to prevent freezing of the well pipes that enter the house through the garage. George spends time each day making the rounds of every room in every building checking the floor and ceiling temps using a laser-light thermometer. You never assume because it’s 40 degrees halfway up the garage wall, that it is the same temperature in the back corner floor where the water pipes enter the house.  Last fall we spent a day insulating the outside walls of the garage. We also have a second means of heat near the water pipe entry point.

A frozen water line or well pump is serious business in winter.  In cold climates you prevent first, and keep upgrading those preventions. If you react instead you are going to pay dearly both figuratively and literally.

Extended periods of extreme cold also increase fire danger.  Whether electric, gas or wood, you are over utilizing every means of keeping your home warm.  George checks all breakers, cords, and outlets to be sure none are overheating. 

The house also takes on a different personality. Doors don’t close properly, or at all. The rock floor by the front door moves upward and the door only opens halfway.  The concrete driveway also surges up and creates a huge bump to ascend as you drive out.  Walls pop and the ceiling creaks at night, making me wonder if someone else is in the house.  Simply walking across the room creates bizarre noises. 

Obviously, being outside for extended periods is extremely dangerous.  All skin must be kept covered. I’ve had minor frostbite and even that is something your skin never fully recovers from.  The only advantage to extreme cold is it can ‘freeze’ your vocal cords, giving you laryngitis. You’d call this an advantage too if you’d spent a week cooped up inside listening to one of your kids with diarrhea of the mouth. (We didn’t know this to be true until Billie got laryngitis from constantly talking while we watched for wolves on a minus ten degree day in Yellowstone.)

Next time you’re stuck inside in sub-zero weather and want 24 hours of peace and quiet, take your guests outdoors and ask them to tell you their life story. (You're welcome.)

The forecast says we only have three more days of this bitter cold.  Maybe by then the snot will unfreeze on my cheek, because whatever that stuff is made of, once it freezes it doesn’t really unthaw…you just chisel it off your face.