“Don’t complain. I’m in the hall next to a
12-foot tall rock fireplace that could collapse and crush me!”
The roof creaked like someone was twisting it apart, the cat
was standing with all four legs widely planted with his head ducked down and
the floor lamps were rocking like a Saturday night drunk walking down the road.
Twenty seconds after it began the earth stopped moving.
“That’s three.” I said sitting down on the couch taking my
cue from the cat (who was back to snoozing) all was momentarily
safe.
“Three what?” George asked looking at his I-pad to see what
the USGS earthquake sight was saying.
“Three disasters.”
“I wouldn’t exactly call a little wave quake a disaster.”
“Anything that makes my heart pump like I’ve been exercising
is a disaster.”
“We all know exercise is a dirty word in your vocabulary. USGS
is reporting it’s only a 5.0 quake.”
“Dede just texted all the bottles rattled on the shelves at
the liquor store.”
George looked up. “Maybe it is a minor disaster. And what
are the Three you’re mumbling about.”
“Everything comes in threes.” I rolled my eyes at him. “In
the past two months we’ve had a three-state electrical grid down event, forest
fires around us closing roads and choking us with smoke and now an earthquake.”
“You’re predicting we’re done with disasters then?”
“I hope so. I’m tired of making my coffee on a camp stove
while the power’s out, living closed up in the house because the smoke
particles will take twenty years off my life, and now everything in my house could
fall on my head.”
“You know you are kind of a drama princess.”
“Everything in my house is covered in ash, and if I dust it
the whole wall might collapse from earthquake damage. Trust me, it could
happen.”
“I’m not worried because the odds of you dusting anything
are zero.”
I picked up my pen to add dusting to my list and wiped my
hand across the notepad…my hand came away covered in ash. “The Forest Service
said not to vacuum till the air quality improves since that only spreads the
poisonous smoke particles, so I assume dusting would do the same.”
“You know the scary part of that statement is for once you
actually made sense.”
I put my head in my hands. “Oh crap! If I made sense that means the forest fire
can’t be one of my three disasters.”
“Are you sure you want to continue with that reasoning?”
George asked. “If so, that means we have one more disaster coming.”
“It’s the Universal Law, I have no choice.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but this whole
conversation’s a disaster.”
“That makes three! We’re finally safe.”
“Speak for yourself lady.”
