After our recent encounters with numerous small quakes I got
the bright idea to invent a cheap and effective quake monitor for personal home
use.
All you need is a 24 case of can beer.
First, drink the beer.
Then, make a pyramid.
If you aren’t too
drunk from drinking the case of beer, you’ll notice there are only 21 cans in
the pyramid. The other three cans I used for target practice. Nothing goes
together better than beer and bullets. This combination is also where the
genius inspiration for my at-home-quake-sensor came from. (Before some of you
get your britches in a bunch, let me assure you I was using an air pistol…also
known as a BB gun. Therefore, no animals, transportation signs, terrorists, or
lawn furniture was injured in the making of this device.)
I’d also like to thank McCollum Hall at the University of
Kansas for inspiring this idea. God rest your P.O.S. (thank-God-they-imploded-you)
heart; you showed freshmen for years what it was like to live in a prison cell
and inspired us to greater achievements.
By the way, I haven’t shown George my invention yet. I
sure hope that patent comes through before the next quake, I’d hate for it to activate
(read fall down) and scare the bejeezus
out of him.
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