“What are you doing with that tape measure?” George asked
while dialing the state mental hospital.
“I’m conducting a scientific study on how long butt cracks should be before it's deemed your pants are too low.”
“Dare I ask why?”
“I was watching a football game when the cameraman zoomed in
on a guy on the sidelines squatting down to talk to a player. I swear the guy had his pants around his
knees because his entire butt was exposed and with all that hair it looked like
the globe we cut in half in geography class in 6th grade.” (And for the record…Yes, our group got detention for destruction of school property. But in our defense the teacher told us our project was the northern hemisphere and I think we should have gotten an A for our ingenuity.)
Anyway…George held one end of the tape measure so I could get a better reading, “Plumber’s butt has been around forever, why are you so
worked up?”
“This was NOT plumber’s butt," I said while trying to turn my head backwards to read the measurement. "It looked like the guy had squatted down to
relieve his bowels. There has to be a
FCA rule about putting a guy on camera who has his pants down.”
“It's not very scientific if you're only measuring your crack?” George had me on that one. I looked at him and smiled. "Oh no, you are not measuring my crack too."
“Fine, I’ll just send the FCC a guideline for the amount
of crack that should be allowed on TV."
"You need to get a hobby."
"Hey, this IS my hobby."
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