Superstitions My Mother Traumatized Me With

"Lyn, you must take your Christmas tree down by January 1 or you'll have bad luck all year.”  It’s the end of January, the tree still stands in the corner, and so I might as well write this year off as screwed. I wonder if you get a free pass if you have a good excuse? We’ve had the Type A flu since New Year’s Eve and are just now starting to feel better. I did get all the decorations off the tree and put away, we just haven’t felt like carrying a full size lighted tree across a slippery, snow-covered deck and driveway to put it away in the tack room. Maybe only half my year will be bad luck?

Maybe I should stop letting my mother’s goofy superstitions rule my life.  Easier said than done.

“If you lay a hat on your bed, there will be a death in the family.” This one traumatized me so much I was afraid to even put myself in bed.  What kind of a wacko tells a small child that her hat could kill someone?

Another gem she told me was, “If you eat too much yeast, you will get a yeast infection.” To understand this as a kid, I had to ask what a yeast infection was.  After she explained in vivid detail, with pictures from a medical book, (Mom was a nurse) I couldn’t eat bread. However, at age 21 I discovered beer... and superstition be damned.

Years later, as an adult, I got my mom a set of expensive kitchen knives for Christmas since she had been complaining hers sucked.  When she opened the package, she jumped on the crazy train, and started saying I had cut off my love to her.  Yep, another superstition… “If you give scissors or knives as a gift you are cutting off your love to the receiver.”

Thinking about the trauma her superstitions caused me through the years; I look at the lonely, bad luck, undecorated Christmas tree sitting in the corner.  What the hell…I plug the lights in, make a cup of coffee, and enjoy the beauty of the brightly lit tree.